Funerals are Hard

Hey Everyone!

Today has been a busy day. Beings that I work 4 ten’s, I had today off, which worked out well. I got up and out of the house this morning. I got some errands ran. I went to the bank and went grocery shopping. I stopped at Trader Joe’s, to pick up a few things there to mix up what I am eating a bit. I then stopped at Safeway to do the bulk of my grocery shopping. I came back to the house, put my groceries away, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and finished getting ready for my great-uncle’s funeral service. At the end of the service, after the flag that had been on the casket had been folded, my brother, a veteran Marine who had been trained on funeral duty fixed how the flag was folded, he couldn’t leave it not folded right.

After the service, we had the family dinner. Once home, I then made myself dinner because of my food intolerances. I have then spent the rest of the evening kind of zoning out trying to relax.

Growing up with a large extended family, over the years funerals for my great-aunts and great-uncles have sadly become all to common place for my dad’s side of the family. My dad’s mom was #4 of 7 children, and my dad’s dad was #5 of 9 children. I don’t know of anyone who enjoys a funeral, I know I dread funerals. I have dreaded them since I was a teenager after my grandmother passed away.

It has been about 13.5 years since my dad’s mom passed away, which was the first of my grandparents to pass away during my life, and that was hard on me. I took it hard, and struggled with it for years. That was half my lifetime ago. I still think about her often, and wonder how my life would have been different if she had lived to see me become an adult. In a way I am also glad she was not around for most of my teen years, and my young adult years. The grandparent I miss the most, is my mom’s mom. She had helped raise my brother and I. She was also the last of my grandparents to pass away. Because she had helped raise my brother and I, I saw her on a regular basis, and she had  been through a lot, as well as had raised two daughters (rather than 2 sons), which did make a difference. She passed away a couple months after I had graduated from college. She was the one I could call up and talk to when things were rough. I always knew she loved me. I also knew, once I was an adult, that if she didn’t approve of things I did, she would not chew me out.

The last year of my Grandma’s (my mom’s mom) life, coincided with my Senior Year of college. Her illness began progressing rapidly during winter term of my senior year. I feel like I had had the notion to work my butt of fall and winter term of that school year, so that spring term I would have a light course load spring term, which is logical in and of itself. Spring term I began looking for a job, then got busy with life, which included visiting my grandma as much as I could between getting homework and projects completed as well as being involved in a friends wedding. Of all my grandparents she was the one I wanted to make proud. Living my life in a manner that would continually make her proud of me, is a goal that I have. it in a way is how I want to honor her memory.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s