This week has kind of been a rough week, and to cope I turned to food, which has thrown me off track. I am trying not to let the week to week changes get to me when I go up a little bit, when I am still down from where I started from.
My brother’s girlfriend is in town, and that is still something I am trying to get used to. I don’t hate her, but I don’t really know her, thus am not friends with her either. So what more can I do, besides be nice to her when she is around and let the relationship develop naturally. She could become my sister in law, but she may not.
This week I have had a brief reminder of what a broken heart feels like (and it has nothing to do with my brother’s girlfriend being in town nor jealousy over him being in a relationship and me being single) I had something happen in my own life that brought it on. I am not going to go into what went down, it just reminded me why I need to guard my heart, until God brings the right one into my life. It’s not about purity, rather the emotional aspect when it doesn’t work out. At the same time I am trying to grapple with the fact that once I find the real thing, it will help the pain of weeding out the wrong ones, be worth it.
If I am supposed to marry, that time will come, as will (I really hope) a family of my own in time. I keep reminding myself that this season of singleness is a gift, where I can focus on my relationship with God, focus on myself, the things I am most passionate about and my friends. I have been given the opportunity to grow and change and experience some of life on my own that I couldn’t have otherwise experienced if I had gotten married by 22.
I am thankful for the opportunities I have had in the past six years.