The quote “Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out” by Ian Wallace has really been on my mind and heart today.
I have spent so many years trying to fit in places I really don’t belong, and I have known I don’t belong in them for years. After trying to put my finger on it exactly for a couple of weeks, it hit me like a ton of bricks today.
I am working on making the changes I need to make in my life, to be doing what I am supposed to be doing with my life. It’s not always easy but doing what you are passionate about and what is a good fit for you is worth working toward.
For me personally, I am passionate about being outdoors and having a home of my own, and being able to cook, clean, decorate and everything for myself. There is just something about coming home, and being in your own space that is amazing. I am the kind of person who needs to be able to have roots and wings. I need to know where home is, yet be able to go and learn about the world I live in, by exploring and experiencing it.
Yesterday I had gone out to do some shopping, and found some new clothes that are my style, and that was one more wedge in the “this isn’t where I am supposed to be or what I am supposed to be doing with my life” progression I have been dealing with. I have been stuck in a box for far to long of allowing others dictate to me who I am, how I should dress, what I should be doing with my life, how I should be serving God, when I know God has put a call on my life that is not what I have been told I should be, or how one goes about doing said Call should be. I finally just stopped caring what others think or what they say. This is not my mothers generation. This is my generation, and there is more to life than being the goody goody who always does as they are told and has no personality or individuality of their own. I am who God made me and has called me to be, and I won’t apologize for that. I won’t conform to a way of life I don’t agree with, and that in my heart I know isn’t right for me.
The past couple weeks have been rough. I have been having to channel all the energy I have to stay focused and remember that this won’t last forever and God has a plan for my life.
Yesterday I had gone with a friend of mine who is a perfectly posh consultant to the Posh Day Away event here in Portland. One of her coworker’s also came, it was a lot of fun. My friend’s coworker, is also a christian and a very sweet lady. So yesterday was a great girls day out. I had really needed it.
Yesterday I was reminded of how I was glad I had grown up and learned to drive in the city, as it made navigating easier, but today I was reminded how overwhelming living in the city actually is for me. On my lunch break I ran to the bank and Fred Meyer, and after work I went to Michael’s (the craft store), Joann’s (the other craft store), Bimart and Safeway. The fact that they are close enough together that I could be like “since this store doesn’t have what I am looking for, I will go to the other store” and so on and so forth. That is what I loved about being in college, and being in a small town. While it would have been nice to have have had a Fred Meyer in the county, there were no malls, costcos, target stores, or chain craft stores, or health food stores, if you wanted any of that you had to go to the city. I liked it that way, it was a good reason to come see my family. Now due to my food intolerances, being close enough to the city to make a day trip is semi necessary, but far enough away that the city has no real influence on the small town life.
With that small town life I had way more opportunities to get out and explore the outdoors. It was also nice to have a place of my own to go home to. I really am a small town girl at heart.
This past week has been pretty busy. Over the Labor Day weekend, I got my ears pierced. I already had the helix of my left ear pierced, when I got my lobes pierced. These were not my first piercings. I originally had my ears and right helix pierced back in 2011 before. I went to New York (a cartilege piercing was still my first piercing), but took them all out. About a year and a half ago, I started getting piercings again, but at different times too out what I had and they healed. I have had so many cartilege piercings it isn’t funny, and is no longer a big deal or really that painful, since I know what to expect.
Friday I had also stopped at my favorite bakery and got treats on my way over to Vancouver, as the mall closest to me didn’t have what I was looking for, so rather than going over to the west side suburbs I went across the river to Vancouver, Washington and went to the mall there and found what I was looking for, then got tea and too tea and treats to my mom since I was in her vicinity.
Over the long weekend I house/pet sat for a friend of mine who went out of town, and couldn’t take the dog with her.
On Saturday I ran a few errands and found a new jacket, a new top, and a really cute new pair of boots for Fall.
This past week has also been looking, feeling, and smelling like fall. They are saying next week is supposed to warm up again, but I am so ready for fall to stick around.
With Monday being a holiday, this week is a short week for me, which is pretty nice.
The past few weeks have been crazy.
My cousins from Alberta and British Columbia had come to visit. My cousin from Alberta, hadn’t been to visit in 6 years, his wife had never been to the states and they brought their daughter.
I was also sick before their visit. Between being sick, family visiting, and life happen time has flown by. I finally kicked the cough.
In the weeks since my last post, I joined Scentsy as a consultant, and I am working on my launch party. I joined in August to get the spring / summer testers and the fall / Winter testers. I was super excited when the new warmers were released as well as the harvest collection warmers.