Tag: Future

Rediscovering the Woman I forgot I was

Hey Everyone!

I hope you all had a good weekend!

This past week I have spent a lot of my free time knitting, and catching up on watching The Blacklist and Poldark. I finished watching season 5 of The Blacklist and I watched the entire fourth season of Poldark this weekend. Now that I am caught up on the seasons of these shows that are out on DVD, I can go back to rewatching shows. This also means I can go back to spending more time reading in the evenings before bed. I figure that since I am caught up on what I haven’t seen yet, it’s easier to stop watching and put down my knitting and spend more time with my nose in a book. Limiting my screen time, especially before bed is definitely something I found that helps me sleep, but I had gotten away from the last few months when I was so busy with work.

I am also slowly preparing for what I hope to be doing long term with life. Long story short, I am doing my research on where I think I might like to live, and I need to go check out these places. First I need to renew my passport (with the whole RealID thing, and the state issued ID’s from my state aren’t compliant with the federal standards, having a passport is one less stress to security) and save as much money as I can.

As crazy as it may be, I think I finally realized what I want to do with my life, and I finally have a purpose to work for. While I am not ready to spill the beans on what that all looks like, as it will be a work in progress for a while, I will share what I can, when I can.

It feels really good to have something to be working toward again. I felt like I had lost myself, and a part of who I was there for a while. I was once the girl who had big dreams, didn’t take no for an answer when I was told I couldn’t do something. In fact each time I was told no, or I that I couldn’t, that added fuel to the fire to prove to them, and even more so, myself that I could. I have always been the “wild”, “untamed”, outdoorsy, preferring to work with her hands, work her butt off, hard working, pull her weight kind of a girl.

The other day, I was working on the second sock of a pair I have going, and I ran out of yarn, not even half way along the foot.

So I am going to have to order some more, as well as some more of the colors I had ordered along with this yarn, so I will have enough to make those pairs of socks as well. I am having to wait until I get paid this week, to put in my order. In the mean time I have plenty of other projects to work on. This weekend I finished up this sock.

The yarn I am using for this pair, is the yarn I use the most, so I have enough for the second sock as well. I got the second sock cast on today.

I will hopefully have the sock I have to wait on yarn for as well as the sock I just started today done within the next couple of weeks. I would love to have these pairs of socks done, and another pair started before the end of the month.

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Happy New Year!!!!

Happy New Year Everyone!

What a year 2018 was. Here’s hoping that 2019 is even better.

This year I hope to read more books and go on more adventures. I also am working toward living a life that is simplified and more meaningful. I have lived in the city for far to long. The life I have been living in the city isn’t too different from the life I lived in a small town. I prefer to cook at home to going out, and I don’t spend a lot of time shopping unless I need something.

So really, my goal for this year is to work on achieving my goals, by spending more time outdoors, renewing my passport, and working on simplifying my life.

The Holiday Rush is Starting.

Hey Everyone!

The last few weeks have been crazy busy.

This week, I have been sick for most of the week. So I have been pushing through being sick and working as many hours as I am offered.

I picked up an extra shift at a different store last night, since they needed extra help. This was the third store I have worked a shift at this season. I still love my home store, yet I also enjoy working shifts at different stores, and working with their crews.

While I am not a morning person, my normal shifts at work are ideal, I start early, and got off as the store opens.

This time of year is the craziest time of year when you work retail. It seems like my life is basically all eating, sleeping, and working. Trying to have a life as well can be a challenge, but I am trying. I managed to fit in a date yesterday before having to go to work. We had met up for coffee.

We had met up at a coffee shop I am familiar with, from when I worked in the area. It has kind of a old hunting lodge type theme to its decor, which is one of the things I liked about it. It is also very Portland.

The tea I had ordered, showed up while I was at work yesterday. Stash Tea, is my standby for tea. Even though Stash is local, one of the things I like about ordering it online is that there are 10 more tea bags per box. The more you buy of a particular kind (like English Breakfast Tea), the price per teabag goes down.

Still Waiting

Hey Everyone!

I never updated you all on my interview. It was really quick. A little too quick.

I walked away with a tentative offer, so I am still waiting for anything official.

Friday I finished up one of the pairs of socks I have had been working on.

I got them washed and blocked yesterday, since it was a warm day.

Now that work is on the horizon, I am trying to get as much knitting as I can done before I go back to working nights. I love working nights, doing stock crew is physical and hard work. Doing it at night, in the cooler part of the day, is the best.

When you Realize that no matter how hard you try, you aren’t where you Belong.

Hey Everyone!

I mentioned it in my last post, that I had an interview on Tuesday, and that I would hear back either way. Well, it’s Friday, and normal business hours have come and gone, yet I still haven’t heard anything. I knew walking out I wouldn’t hear anything. Of all the jobs I have interviewed for, all but one of the job offers I have had came in person, at the end of an interview. So of the 57 Interviews I have had in the past eight years, of the ones where the job offer wasn’t extended at the interview, only one has ever called me. 1 out of roughly 50 where I walked out without a job offer in hand, extended an offer.

In college I didn’t want to move back to the city, but I had to, because we were still in the midst of the recession and there isn’t much in the way of industry to find a job that you can live on in a small town like that, so I (not so willingly) came back to my parents house, in the city.

Over the past eight years, I have pages upon pages worth of documenting all the resumes I have submitted, and applications I have filled out. Out of the several hundred applications and resumes I have submitted, and 57 interviews I have gone on, the best job I have had was a temp job lasting about two and a half years. It also didn’t pay a living wage.

I am the kind of person who likes to work hard, I don’t need much, I just want to live a simple life where I can make ends meet and not hate what I am doing or where I am at.

The biggest reasons I didn’t want to move to the city, and I want to move still, is that I loved having my own space while I was in college. While I am trying to make the best of it while I am here, I am not a fan of the city life, all the people, the traffic, always being on the go, yet every activity costs money to go do, housing has gotten so expensive, yards are getting smaller.

I have been trying to find a way out, but have yet to find it.

I realize this post is rather pessimistic, that is where I am at right now. I am just trying to understand and figure out what I am supposed to be doing with my life, since getting paid to do what I love doing (Homemaking and Knitting) seems pretty unrealistic at this point in time.

I usually try to keep my post more up beat and positive. Today I am just frustrated and a bit pessimistic. I was told at the interview I had Tuesday that either way I would hear back by today at the latest. It’s now almost 7:00 pm and I have heard absolutely nothing. No phone call or email. There used to be a time when someone’s word meant something. Anymore, I learned the hard way, that you really cannot take anyone at their word. Anyone who you can take at their word is very rare.

Considering Going Back to School

Hey Everyone!

Pretty much since the year after I graduated with my Bachelor’s Degree, I have toyed with the idea of going back to school and getting a second Bachelors Degree and then potentially pursuing a Master’s Degree.

Over the past almost 7 years that I have been considering going back to school, I have debated on what I would study, and where I would go.  I have a pretty good idea of what I would study, and the career outcome of what I want to do after I go back, and the whole reason to go back to school, I have narrowed it down from three options I have considered. I have also looked into projected industry growth over the next decade, and the path I am leaning toward has a higher than average projected industry growth, which is promising.

The School I want to go to, at least to get my Post – Bacc degree (second bachelors), would allow me to live in a state I have been dreaming to live in for years, and even if I moved elsewhere after I finished my degree(s) should I be able to stay at said school for my masters as well, I would get to live in said state for a good 4 to 5 years. That would be a dream come true in and of itself.

If things were to work out, I am still a little over a year away from starting school. It will take hard work and dedication to even get there in the first place and have everything fall into place that I need to fall into place, and then even harder work put in while I am there to make it happen.

I know this is a bit vague, and I am purposefully not saying what I plan to major in or the school I want to attend for privacy reasons, and should it not be the right course to pursue, and not work out, then the fact that going back to school is all anyone needs to know.

I feel like my 20’s were a time of self discovery, and figuring out who I am, and the path I am supposed to take. I have been able to do a lot of amazing things in my 20’s, and I have learned a lot about life and who I am, the things that I enjoy doing and that making me happy, as well as things that fulfill me and give me a sense of purpose. Due to the fact that I didn’t really have an idea of what I wanted to do career wise after college, and with the social science field being so broad and without a specific career outcome, I feel like I spent part of my 20’s being a bystander and inactive participant in my life and watched it go by, without being able to control much. I have felt lost, empty and confused at times and like the world was just passing me by.

If all goes according to plan and works out, this change will allow me to have a definite plan career wise and have an end game goal so that I know what I am working toward.

Part of why I had started my blogs in the first place, is because if I could help even one other young woman to see her full potential and set challenging yet attainable goals for herself and work hard to achieve it, and not listen to the haters and those whose goal is to distract us from what we are able to do, then I will have been successful at one of my goals.

I have had plenty of people tell me that I can’t do something for whatever their reason, but I am the kind of person that when someone tells me I can’t do something or that I shouldn’t do something, (highly dangerous to myself/others and illegal / immoral things aside), I make it my mission to do what I am told I cannot do, and prove people wrong about me. They aren’t living my life and they haven’t walked a mile in my shoes, so who are they to tell me I can’t do something and judge me for living my life the way I believe and know is right for me.

I am taking back my life, I know that going back to school, especially after being out for 8 years now (and likely 9 by the time I start school again), is going to be hard. I am willing to put in the hard work, and get the help I need while I am there, and take advantage of office hours, and ask a ton of questions.

What I am working toward has been on my heart for a few years now, roughly two or three as specific as it is, closer to six in the broader scope of the goal.

I still intend to keep up my blogs as much as I can, and share my experience of going back to University and pursing a second bachelors and then a masters, in my 30’s.

Knowledge is power, and education is so important. I am really beginning to see how important having and education is, whether that is in the traditional sense of post secondary education (here in the US we call it High School, other countries call it something different), or learning a trade after completing high school.

One day if I ever do have children, I want to teach them about how important their education is. I do realize and know that the statistics show that children whose parents have a higher education tend to also go on to have a higher education.

In my own life I have seen how important it is for a woman to be able to navigate and conduct herself in the business world. Even if she is able to and wants to be a stay at home wife and mother, she should also have skills that are useful in the outside world. What if her husband gets sick and passes away, or is seriously injured, or if he takes off, then what? In this day and age she needs to know how to build a resume, look for a job, go on interviews and work, in order to support herself and her family. Especially in urban life, needing to have two incomes is pretty much a necessity.

I am trying to not get my hopes up yet, as its still in its early stages, but should it all work out, I also look forward to the adventures I will be able to go on because of the change and move.

Cabin Fever; The saga continues

Hey Everyone!

2018 has been a rough one so far for illness. I am sick for the third time this year and we are really only 2 months into the year.

All I want is to be healthy again and some half way decent weather so I can go hiking again.

The conditioning cream and the insoles I bought for my hiking boots came today, so I was able to condition my new hiking boots this afternoon, since they are full grain leather. I definitely want to protect them and have them last as long as possible.

Even though I am sick, today has been productive. I got some laundry done, and got my boots conditioned. I have gotten several blog posts written on a couple of my blogs, including this post. I have also been looking for a job.

Today has already been a two cup of tea day, and is about to be a three cup of tea day.

I will be giving essential oils a try here in the near future, to see if they help me stay healthy, help with my allergies and with stress. I am going to be trying a few blends.

I have too much going on this month to be sick again. I have a ladies retreat in a couple weeks that I will be attending as well as a concert the weekend after and I want to fit in at least a couple hikes before Oregon Spring Break.

I have also been sorting through some stuff, and seeing what I can get rid of, especially of things that don’t fit right or don’t fit period and I won’t wear. I am also trying to simplify what I have, with the exception of a few decorative things (even that I am trying to keep simple), I am trying to not have excessive amounts of material things that I don’t really need. If it is something functional, that I am currently using (or will for sure use when I move out on my own again) I am keeping it for now, but other things are just taking up needless space.

While I have no burning desire to living in a tiny home, I would rather live on acreage, with a modest farmhouse, bungalow or cottage, than a big house in the city. The one thing I would like though is a kitchen with decent counter space so I can have room to cook and bake, as well as a table that can seat several people, for family gatherings and such.

Moving???

Hey Everyone!

This past weekend was pretty busy.

Friday Night I had gone “Home” for Pizza night at church, and Sunday I went back down for church.

I am actually excited for March to be here. While I am not wishing my life away, I just have some plans in the works that I am excited about.

I am also ready for the days to be a little bit warmer (like 58 – 62 degrees Fahrenheit would be perfect), so I can get back outside and do some more exploring and adventures.

I have known that Portland isn’t for me, for years. I am ready to move on, find a job some place new and have some new adventures and experiences.

While I am still figuring out where it is I am headed, and while I am still in this part of the State / country, I am wanting to go on a few more adventures here while I still have the chance.

Between having been sick, and the weather not being super conducive to outdoor adventures, I have been working on my knitting projects. I have a couple triangle shawls in the works as well as always having some socks going. The latest pair of socks I am working on, I decided to break out one of the pretty colors of yarn to work with.

While I am further along on this sock than I was when I took this picture, this is the color I am working with.

Last week I did go out on a mini adventure to just get out of the house for a little bit and out of the city limits. I stopped by an old Pioneer Church and rustic / historic cabin (both are on the same property). I enjoy going out on this drive. I love that the country is so close, and not that far of a drive to get to.

Autumn in Portland

Hey Everyone!

I had this morning off, so I could sleep at night like a normal person. Beings that I woke up at a normal time for me, I had the energy to go for a walk this afternoon.

Looking for a full time job here that is a good fit for me, has been a challenge. It has made me really think about what I am good at, what I am passionate about, and how I want to spend my career.

I have spent the better part of 7.5 years not using my degree, bouncing around doing different jobs in different industries, yet have had one that was close to being a good fit.

I am definitely wanting to spend more time doing Homemaking stuff and outdoorsy stuff. What would be even better would be modern Homesteading (aka living on a farm, that has electricity and at least a septic system), with a great view. Then I could do the Homemaking and outdoorsy stuff and not have to choose.

Busy Tuesday

Hey Everyone!

This morning I worked my normal shift at work, then afterwards the crazy busyness ensued. Afterward, I came home got food, showered and got ready for an interview (for a second job), and went to said interview.

My day really didn’t end there, I also had some errands to run. By the time I got done running around town, dealing with things like going to the bank, getting bills paid, and a couple fun errands like picking up some Christmas decorations since I could get them with my employee discount, and got new earrings that I can just leave in and not have to take out to shower or sleep, it was a busy day.

By the time I got home and got food, and went to bed for the day, it was a little after 2 pm.

Now I am up again and need to start getting ready for work again.

I should hopefully hear back on the second job by the end of the week.

That is one thing I never really missed about the city while I lived in a small town, how busy running around town a day could be. I really didn’t miss the hustle and bustle of the city. Sometimes even now that I have been back for years it still is overwhelming.