Tag: Life Experiences

On the Go day after day

Hey Everyone!

Since Thanksgiving, life has been going non stop. 3 weeks of full on, full force going and doing. The past three weeks have flown by.

Yesterday I had another interview, which I thought went well, but I have to wait and see a bit to find out if I got it.

After my interview I had gone for a little drive to clear my mind a bit. Afterward I ran a couple errands. I had stopped at Bob’s red mill, picked up a couple baking mixes, before stopping at the grocery store to pick up my brother’s Christmas present and a few other items.

I had work this morning. I even slept for a few hours since I got home, but I am still exhausted.

I had one of my orders of yarn arrive this morning while I was asleep, so I opened it up this afternoon.

The darker yarn is a worsted weight yarn, that has more yards per hank, while the off white / cream colored yarn is a bulky yarn that has fewer yards per hank (hence more hanks).

I have been enjoying being able to work on different knitting projects. I have a lot of yarn and so many ideas of what I want to make with it all. I am still working on socks, but I am also in a shawl mode as well.

As I sit here writing this, I have a batch of gluten free dairy free brownies in the over and it is overcast outside.

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Funerals are Hard

Hey Everyone!

Today has been a busy day. Beings that I work 4 ten’s, I had today off, which worked out well. I got up and out of the house this morning. I got some errands ran. I went to the bank and went grocery shopping. I stopped at Trader Joe’s, to pick up a few things there to mix up what I am eating a bit. I then stopped at Safeway to do the bulk of my grocery shopping. I came back to the house, put my groceries away, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and finished getting ready for my great-uncle’s funeral service. At the end of the service, after the flag that had been on the casket had been folded, my brother, a veteran Marine who had been trained on funeral duty fixed how the flag was folded, he couldn’t leave it not folded right.

After the service, we had the family dinner. Once home, I then made myself dinner because of my food intolerances. I have then spent the rest of the evening kind of zoning out trying to relax.

Growing up with a large extended family, over the years funerals for my great-aunts and great-uncles have sadly become all to common place for my dad’s side of the family. My dad’s mom was #4 of 7 children, and my dad’s dad was #5 of 9 children. I don’t know of anyone who enjoys a funeral, I know I dread funerals. I have dreaded them since I was a teenager after my grandmother passed away.

It has been about 13.5 years since my dad’s mom passed away, which was the first of my grandparents to pass away during my life, and that was hard on me. I took it hard, and struggled with it for years. That was half my lifetime ago. I still think about her often, and wonder how my life would have been different if she had lived to see me become an adult. In a way I am also glad she was not around for most of my teen years, and my young adult years. The grandparent I miss the most, is my mom’s mom. She had helped raise my brother and I. She was also the last of my grandparents to pass away. Because she had helped raise my brother and I, I saw her on a regular basis, and she had  been through a lot, as well as had raised two daughters (rather than 2 sons), which did make a difference. She passed away a couple months after I had graduated from college. She was the one I could call up and talk to when things were rough. I always knew she loved me. I also knew, once I was an adult, that if she didn’t approve of things I did, she would not chew me out.

The last year of my Grandma’s (my mom’s mom) life, coincided with my Senior Year of college. Her illness began progressing rapidly during winter term of my senior year. I feel like I had had the notion to work my butt of fall and winter term of that school year, so that spring term I would have a light course load spring term, which is logical in and of itself. Spring term I began looking for a job, then got busy with life, which included visiting my grandma as much as I could between getting homework and projects completed as well as being involved in a friends wedding. Of all my grandparents she was the one I wanted to make proud. Living my life in a manner that would continually make her proud of me, is a goal that I have. it in a way is how I want to honor her memory.

With a Heavy Heart

With a heavy heart, I write this post. When I woke up this morning things were out of whack, and the day was off on a bad foot from the start. It was like my body knew that today would be a hard day, before my brain could understand why.

Someone I know, and had just seen, and talked to Sunday night passed away last night. It was sudden and out of the blue. Like I had said, I had just seen him going full force, life as usual Sunday night, and bam he is gone. I had respected him, he and his wife have been married for 38 years, and is the kind man who was a good example to the young men, and for young women to keep their standards high, and to get half the man he was, in a man of our own a girl would still be doing good, and not letting any standards, morals or values slip in anyway shape of form. He also was very musically gifted. He could play the piano and the harp like none other. He also played the French Horn, as well as conducted the YP Choir, Adult Choir and Orchestra on numerous occasions (as well as having filled in as THE music director for several months between music directors). He was very talented when it came to music. He loved the music, and the young people like they were his own children.

It is a reminder to live each day to the fullest, and live like each day is our last, because it very well could day.

Make of it What You Will.

Hey Everyone!

Here are a few things that have happened since my last post:

  • Glee’s version of Just Give Me a Reason was trash in my opinion. Quinn and Puck’s version almost made my ears bleed. I do much prefer the original by Pink and Nate Ruess. I had fallen in love with original the first time I had heard it, and I can’t say that for a lot of songs.
  • I really enjoyed Michael Buble’s cover of To Love Somebody. The original is by the Bee Gees, which is still a really good song, but I loved the jazz version that Michael had created. I don’t think one or the other is better, but I just really enjoyed the Modern Jazz version a lot.
  • Had a good discussion with my mom about food, and while my food choices fall within the alternative category, there was still a lot of common ground. I choose to be different but it isn’t wrong.
  • I feel like my life is about to change, for the better. “Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear” – The Hunger Games

I haven’t watched Glee for the past season and a half, and just recently watched an episode from this past season, entitled “New Directions”. I had gotten bored with where the writers were taking show, especially after the third season when most of the main cast graduated.  It appears at least from that episode that Quinn and Puck have gotten back together, and it seems like half of the original cast is all going off to New York, to live the New York dream. Mr. Schuster was no longer going to be a teacher at McKinley, and was potentially headed to Carmel, the home of the arch enemy show choir to McKinley. It just seemed so forced and like the writers were just writing the show into its oblivion. I was never a die hard fan, and kind of / sort of watched the first three and a half seasons to see what would happen as cheesy, corny, and horrible as it was, but also to hear what songs they pulled out to use. There were a few good songs, and I do mean a few. The songs in this episode were particularly bad, and their rendition of Just Give Me a Reason by Pink (Featuring Nate Ruess), done by Quinn and Puck was poor, I had always been of the mind that Dianna Agron and Mark Salling’s voices were not the strongest of the groups, they can carry a tune, but they are not the voices that shine among the actors. So their version of one of my favorite songs, definitely put me into the group of people who are so over the hype of glee, and will not be getting back to better music.

This Past week, I had been listening to my Ipod like I quite often do, and Michael Buble’s version of To Love Somebody had come on. It dawned on me that there was something very familiar but different about the song, like I had heard it somewhere before but couldn’t place it right away. That was until I had realized that I recognized it as being a Bee Gee’s song. I like Michael’s Jazz spin on the song. It gives the song some soul, but keeps the whole original response to an  unrequited love.

This afternoon, I finally feel like I finally found some common ground with my mom. Some of my alternative foods that I have been eating due to having food intolerances and sensitivities, she has actually tried and come to like as much as I do. Even a year ago she was still hesitant about even trying my food. It was okay for me to eat it, but it had been too out there for her. While she probably won’t be going completely dairy free in the near future, or go gluten free for her own reasons period, we have come to a point, where she has realized that I am not crazy, and that the “alternative” food that I do eat is actually pretty good, mainly in part because I spent the first almost 24 years of my life eating normal mainstream food, that I still aim to eat food that tastes as close to what I had grown up with as I can. I talk about it more in depth here

I don’t know why, but for the last few days, I have felt like my life is going to be changing in a big way, and change for the better. I don’t know the who, where, what, why, how’s of it yet. All I know is that my intuition doesn’t lie, and has been dead on most of the time. All I know is that I believe that there is something big coming up for me. I thought the quote from the Hunger Games was fitting for what I am going through right now.

“Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear” – The Hunger Games

I feel like I know where I belong, and where my home is, and that something will be working out, so that I can either move back or that it will be more of a part of my life again. I finally feel like I am starting to live again. I finally feel like I can breathe and be myself and have that go over well. Just because my current situation is not so great, doesn’t mean that it will always be this way, and there is something bigger and better out there for me to get up for in the morning. I just have to keep pressing toward the future.

Scottish Independence?????????????????

Since I got wind of it in the last few weeks, I have been paying attention to the up coming referendum vote that will be taking place this coming Thursday, September 18th. Those living in Scotland will be deciding whether or not Scotland will becoming it’s own country again. Something that has not been a reality in over 300 years.

I am interested and excited to see what happens, as I would jump at the chance to move to Scotland given the chance either way of this vote. I have had the desire to live in Scotland for 5 years now, but have relegated myself to the reality that the easiest and most practical way for that to happen is to marry a Scotsman, and the likelihood of that happening is looking slim.

If the vote comes back to be yes, Scotland would still not be it’s own country until March 26th 2016, which is just over 18 months away. Even if Scotland became its own country, my best legal option of moving would be through marriage.

Why would someone like me want to move to Scotland? you may ask. I will tell you. I have been fascinated with it’s culture, history, lifestyle, climate (and about the only place in my own country that rivals that is SE Alaska) and I want a change of pace. I want to learn about another country’s culture by immersion. I have been trying to learn about the culture and such through BBC documentaries and non fictitious TV Programs. I also realize that it would be a huge adjustment for me, and that challenge is part of the reason why I want to go. I want to get out of my shell and experience living abroad.

I have done a bit of research, and I know even with food intolerances I would be fine, It would just be part of the adjustment and learning how to take care of myself in a new environment with brands I am not familiar with. It can be done. Not allowing myself to give in and come back without giving it a fair chance just because it is unfamiliar and new. If I were to move I would rely on the fact that I got through College (University) without giving up in the first year (I had serious thought about it, and wanted to at one point), but I did not give up. I stuck it out, and I am glad I did.

Wanting to Get out and Explore

If I could move anywhere in the country that was outside of the current geographic region I currently live in I would want to spend a year or two in Colorado, and at least a year someplace along the Maine coast. 

Why I specified outside my own geographic area, is because I would move to the Northern Oregon Coast in a heart beat if I could get a job that would take me there. At the same time I also want to take my blogs to the next level, especially my adventures blog. My other blogs would just follow suit. I would still be writing about more life stuff, and what I was learning about, and how I was growing/changing and what I doing on this blog, I would be writing about how the move had impacted how I deal with my food intolerances, and what I was cooking, baking and making on that blog, and my knitting blog would still be about what I was working on. A new job and a move someplace out of what I am used to would overall help each of my blogs, but it would help my adventures blog the most. 

I also know that the likelihood of me actually being able to move to Scotland is slim, so I have thought about places within my own country that I would like to spend some time in. 

Colorado was where I wanted to move, when the novelty wore off and realistic goals set in from the Scotland dream. I still wouldn’t mind living there, and seeing that part of the country. 

Maine has been the newest place on the list, especially coastal Maine, in part becuase I love the coast period, it would be beachy and small towny enough for me, while still getting out and going and seeing the history of New England. 

Then again, if I would pretty much move most anywhere in the country if it meant that I had a job that I could support myself on and pay off my college loans. 

Why I Blog

Many of the last posts I have written are about things that have happened to me in the past, which I have shared because these events in my life have contributed to who I am today, and are all part of the journey my life has taken me on. 

In writing the post about losing my grandparents, after I had written it, I felt like there was a release of all the stuff I had been holding in. Like I had said i that post, I don’t want anyone to see these posts as a “Woe is me” sob story. That is not my point. I have been through some tough stuff, and I hope by sharing my story and experiences that maybe I can help someone else in the process. Writing about my experiences has helped me heal, and helped bring me a sense of closure and finality. 

I know some people would call me crazy for putting myself out there through my blogs, but life is too short to not have a voice. Even today I heard a comment made about people who blog, and why do they thing they have anything to say. In that moment I wanted to go off on a rant to that person about why everyone has something to say, but only a few choose to make what they have to say heard. 

Each of us has a voice, and at least where I am, we still have the right to have our voices, thoughts and opinions heard. I started blogging, because I needed an outlet to write in. I am not out to be a big internationally known blogger, I just want to share some of what I have been through.